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Kevin O'Flaherty

In this article, we will discuss your options when a loved ones does not want to go to a nursing home. We will cover “Why to Consider Assisted Living in Illinois,” “Tips for Convincing a Loved One to Move to Assisted Living," and “Forcing a Loved One to Move to Assisted Living.”

Why to Consider Assisted Living in Illinois

Deciding whether or not to move a loved one to assisted living can be one of the toughest decisions a family can make.  Your loved one may enjoy the consistency of staying at their family home or the independence of living on their own.  They may view assisted living as a step backwards or an admittance of failure.  Other family members may also be concerned about assisted living because of price or reluctance to have strangers be responsible for their loved ones.  However, many people come to a point in there lives where living on their own is not the best option for themselves and their families.  They may be inadvertently putting themselves in danger, forgetting important things, or starting to lose their physical fitness.  Assisted living offers an opportunity for senior citizens to receive the help they need in the new phase of their lives and provides an environment where they can be social, active, and healthy.

Tips for Convincing a Loved One to Move to Assisted Living in Illinois

Discussing a move to assisted living can be stressful and bring up a lot of questions and concerns.  The best piece of advice for discussing assisted living with your loved one is to bring it up early and often, long before it is seen as a necessity.  This will inspire conversation from everyone involved on how they feel about assisted living and what they would want from an assisted living situation if it were to arise.  It also gives members of the family time to adjust to the idea of making the significant change and to do research on their options in a pressure-free situation.  If a loved one is hesitant about assisted living, there are a few things that can help them see the benefits:

  • Take a loved one to an assisted living facility or have them meet someone who works in the field.  This can remove some of the negative stigma around life in assisted living and show some of the benefits in action.  

  • Talk openly with your loved one about the cost, stress, and anxiety that avoiding an assisted living facility can cause them.  This shows your loved one that your motivations for this move are out of love and concern for them rather than self-serving.  

  • Discuss and explore the various options available for them.  Not all assisted living is created equal.  There are several options for services and a wide variety of providers.  Exploring further options can help narrow down the desires of your loved one.
  • Avoid placing blame.  One common emotions that can occur for a loved one who is facing potential assisted living is self-blame or feeling that they are failing their loved ones.  When discussing their options, it is important to remind loved ones that these changes in lifestyle are not their fault and that many people deal with the same problem when entering this new phase of their lives.

How to Force Someone to Move to Assisted Living

Nobody wants to force a loved one or family member to move against their will, especially if they are adamantly opposed to the change. However, situations may arise when there is no other choice.  A loved one may reach a point where they are endangering themselves and are not of sound enough mind to make decisions that are best for them.  If it reaches this point, the most efficient way to get them to the assisted living they may need is to get a court ordered guardianship over them.  As a guardian, you will be in charge of making decisions on behalf of your loved one and supporting them.  The  guardian process will require you to prove that the loved one is not capable of sound decision making or unable to care for themselves effectively.  If this is proven, the guardian will be appointed and they can then decide on living situations for their loved one with court supervision.  This can be a stressful and emotional decision, but understanding that what you are doing is out of care for your loved one can provide some peace of mind.  This elder guardianship process is complex and will require an understanding of Elder Law and Guardianship Law.  A guardianship attorney would be able to help you through this process to assure that it is completed as smoothly and efficiently as possible for you and your loved one.  

Disclaimer: The information provided on this blog is intended for general informational purposes only and should not be construed as legal advice on any subject matter. This information is not intended to create, and receipt or viewing does not constitute an attorney-client relationship. Each individual's legal needs are unique, and these materials may not be applicable to your legal situation. Always seek the advice of a competent attorney with any questions you may have regarding a legal issue. Do not disregard professional legal advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this blog.


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